Summon A Balrog

This is a thingie. Duh.

Dah Stoff U Nehd

*Matchbox that still has unused matches in it
*5 grams of of Mercury(II) Thiocyanate {Powder A}
*2 cups of of Alluminum Dichromate {Powder B}
*Bowl
*Candle

Wath vYooodooo

Put one cup of Strike match onto matchbox. Light candle. Extinguish flame. Light smoke of flame. Repeat until the fire relights the candle upon lighting the smoke.
Put one cup of powder B into bowl. Put 5 grams of powder A into bowl. Put one more cup of powder B into bowl.
Dip candle into bowl. Wait.
Play Mario Kart with the balrog. Win. Kill the balrog by eating it. Stumble upon the reason I'm saying all of this while reading Cracked.